so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
