i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
