I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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