went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
