sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
