East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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