Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
