come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
