I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
