She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
