grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize