Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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