she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
