I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
