BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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