I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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