So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize