Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize