Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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