Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
