im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
