exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
