So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize