hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
