Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
