Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize