Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize