So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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