I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
