Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
