escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
