So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
