I want to stick my p in your. b.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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