I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
