you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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