Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
