Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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