I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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