He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
