KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize