i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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