oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
