he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
