I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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