walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
