can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
