Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
