Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
