I can tuck mytits in my pants
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
