Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
