this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
