I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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