the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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