U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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