help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
