Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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