so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
