By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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