Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
