I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to calm my uterus...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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