I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
